Hi Lucia,
I am very interested in this guy at work. He is 22 and I am 25. He is a virgin and I am very experienced. For some reason I am extremely attracted to him, despite his mild nerdiness and lack of social skills.
When I first started working at my job we went on a couple of dates. He seemed very interested in me and was spouting sexual innuendo constantly. When I eventually tried to follow through (have sex) he "freaked out" mid make out session. He asked me if things would be awkward at work, and when I said "No, we would be friends as usual and nothing would change", he then responded by saying we should take it more slowly and get to know each other.
I suppose this may be right, but after that night he became really shy and awkward at work. He could barely look me in the eyes, but when he did, he smiled and gave me that look – you know- the twinkly eyes?
He ended up breaking it off within a couple of days. I was totally shocked and bummed. We now can barely speak to each other (mainly because when I do he freaks out, says something awkward, and then runs away) I don't know what to do. I have to see him every day and drool over him, which is torturous. Plus I feel like he is still attracted to me but is scared or intimidated. I can't figure out how to make him feel comfortable again! What do you suggest? Alle
Hi Alle,
If he is running away from you (literally and figuratively), then you need to stop chasing. If no one is chasing him, he has no reason to run. Think of him as you would a cat. If you notice, they will run away from you if you try to go near them. However, if you ignore them, they eventually get curious and come over to see what you’re all about.
While you want to continue being friendly, you should actually be the one to run away from him. Since he seems to have trouble even talking to you, just smile and keep walking when you see him. Do not try to initiate a conversation. Don’t even say, “Hi”. Your mantra is: Smile and keep walking.
If he’s interested, he’ll eventually want to start talking to you again. You will still need to let him take the initiative. Don’t ask him out, don’t try to get together. Basically, let him lead and see where this leads to.
