Dear Lucia,
This guy and I have a physical and somewhat emotional attraction but he keeps getting scared it's going too far for him. He thinks it shouldn’t have gotten this far.
We’ve been seeing each other off and on for several weeks now and also talking several times a day on the phone. We share lots of laughs and intimate times and are very compatible with each other. I’m just trying to make out what’s going on with him right now. Jodi
Dear Jodi,
Girl, you’ve got to slow down. You’re making the typical female mistake of trying to rush things. You haven’t been “on and off for several weeks”, you’ve simply been getting to know each other at a pace that you consider too slow.
A few weeks in is way too soon to be talking on the phone several times a day. Guys are not generally aware of their feelings towards someone they’re seeing until they begin to miss her. He can’t miss you if he knows he can talk to you every day.
Dating is supposed to be a slow dance, not a race. If you behave as if it were a race, at some point the guy is going to put on the brakes and you will be on the road to nowhere. I've seen this happen over and over again.
Instead, as with dancing, you take one step forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back.
At the moment, you’re scaring him off. Take a step back and don’t be so available, to either talk on the phone or to see him in person. No more daily phone calls. See him no more than once or twice a week for the first few months.
If he wants to see you more often, let him be the one to bring it up.
